Zimbabwe Parliamentary Clowns

In the past, Zanu PF has provided the Parliament of Zimbabwe with some brilliant legislators. Names like Sydney Malunga, Eddison Zvobgo, Christopher Ushehwokunze and Dr Bernard Chidzero quickly come to mind in that regard. But the genre now representing Zanu PF is a concoction of brilliant orators and clowns and silent assassins and clownish cheerleaders par excellence.

From Madiitawepi Chimene and Joseph Chinotimba, to  Psychology Maziwisa and Prof Jonathan Moyo  with Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa  and Kembo Mohadi sanguaged in between the the Zanu PF parliamentary baguette is so diversely put together it can cause one to loose political appetite on sight and vomit .

But it is the Zanu PF orators and clowns in parliament that provides some interesting and unforgettable moments. If they are not reconstructing a Presidential tumble in public glare they are busy cheering their leader making the fatal mistake of reading a wrong speech in parliament.

And when the silent assassins attempt belated damage limitation and historical distortion by withdrawing the misleading presentation through expunging it from Parliamentary records the clowns are unleashed to provide free comedy in the August house.

Joseph Chinotimba,  who headlined ZBC TV news with a hilarious endorsement of the Presidential speech that never was taken by surprise when Emmerson Mnangagwa sought leave of Parliament to withdraw the speech that Chinotimba had lavishly endorsed as the best by a God-sent President less than 24 hours before. But he had to draw on some clownish arrogance to hide his comical stupidity and shallow mind.

“Thank you Mr. Speaker Sir.  I want to add my voice on the motion put forward by the Vice President.  For sure there was a mishap and the citizens were troubled by that incident.  However, I rise to say that we cannot waste our time over issues which are not pertinent

Mr. Speaker Sir, I stood up to support the motion put forward by the Vice President and that

we stop debating all these other issues.  The Vice President should go ahead and read the President’s speech.  That is the reason why I have stood up.  I thank you,”  Chinotimba (2015)

That from a legislator who had supposedly scooped the Human Rights People’s Choice award, was an embarrassing act only clowns can pull. Hopefully those who awarded him the accolade in December 2014 will revisit the award and justify his suitability for such an honour or they will hope the gaffe will not tarnish their brand if it was not yet damaged beyond redemption.

And not to be outdone the reckless and late developer Mandiitawepi Chimene with a reputation for unquestionable loyalty and backwater reinforcement of outmoded propaganda and strategies was at her best demonstrating why she is reputed as such.

 “Thank you Mr. Speaker Sir.   I rise to add my voice to this issue of the speech that was mistakenly delivered.  Mr. Speaker Sir, there is nothing special about what happened. The speech can be retrieved and replaced with the correct one.  That should not be a worrisome thing to hon. members.  It is not as grievous as the sanctions that were requested by members of the opposition.  When the two are juxtaposed, what is important?  What hurts most? Is it the error of the speech that was given or is it the sanctions that have hurt the entire nation? 

Withdraw the sanctions and apologise to the nation...(interrupted)

Thank you Mr. Speaker for protecting me.  I am saying one can simply say, I beg your pardon and then the record is set straight.  What about this monster called sanctions that was imposed by our colleagues that has not been withdrawn?  If they want us to withdraw the speech, they should say sorry to the nation; people are suffering because of sanctions that they called for.  They should withdraw the sanctions.    I thank you” Chimene (2015)

She is not aware that the sanctions mantra has long lost its relevance as it was propaganda that has been overtaken by events. She still wants the opposition MDCT party to withdraw propaganda sanctions a feat no political party can ever manage.

And the loyalty bit cannot be missed as she has taken ownership of the expunged Presidential speech and will only concede it was an error requiring Presidential humility to apologise about. She appointed herself President for the purpose of refusing to apologise for the erroneous speech and it is doubtful that when the silent assassin VP Mnangagwa regretted the error she understood the apology had been tendered.

To expect her to understand that the EU has all but removed all targeted for travel bans- not sanctions – form the restriction list except the President and his wife , let alone that sanctions do not promote the import economy she preside over would be to expect a miracle from this overzealous Zanu PF political comedian whose practical jokes are the source of many a dispute within and outside her political party.

All the same keep the entertainment up cdes Mandi and Chinos . Parliament will be such a dull place without your hilarious comical comprehension of what is taking place in that House.

Chimene, M.(2015)Hansard  http://www.parlzim.gov.zw/attachments/article/30/Vol.%2042%20No.%202.pdf

Chinotimba, J. (2015) Hansard  http://www.parlzim.gov.zw/attachments/article/30/Vol.%2042%20No.%202.pdf