Premier Morgan Tsvangirai and deceased wife Susan Pic courtesy Sokwanele
In my village the role of raising spirits through satire and mimicking of the deceased at a funeral is reserved for the Clan in-laws and close friends of the deceased family.
I also happen to know this to be standard custom and practice in Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai’s Humanikwa village in Buhera.
The women married to the Tsvangirai Clan would collect tithes (nzveura) from close and extended members of the Tsvangirai family by mimicking the dressing, talking, life time actions and mannerisms of the late Susan Tsvangirai.
They would dress up in the deceased’s favourite clothes, sing her favourite songs usually with a lot of discord, tie filthy... objects on close family members’ wrists. necks and heads and anywhere only to remove the objects on being paid the tithes.
It is such spectacles that makes people at the funeral vigil laugh and forget their sorrowful moment for a while.
But then Susan’s funeral was always going to be a State funeral whether or not the State was going to declare it as such officially.
The array of politicians that thronged the vigil to post condolences and yes use the sad occasion as a cheap publicity occasion was always going to upstage traditional in-laws tithe collecting gimmicks if at all they were possible to be noticed by such crowds as attended the Premiers wife’s funeral vigil.
National comedians had to emerge to fill the void and they did.
Professor Mutambara called a press conference to announce that the government, in which he is the deputy Premier but not culpable in this instance, was to blame for the death of Susan Tsvangirai.
At a time when speculation was and is still rife that the accident that took Susan’s life was the work of the disgruntled opponents of the elevation of her husband to the position of Premier, such an admission by as high ranking a government official as the Deputy Premier was bound to make waves in the audience.
The Deputy Premier disclosed why he had come to that conclusion.
The State had denied the Premier and his wife usage of high clearance vehicles.
The State had negligently failed to provide the Premier with a coloured light Police escort wailer to warn other traffic of the presence of the VIP on the road.
He had also been denied similar privilege to use a high clearance vehicle by the State.
“That is a travesty of justice in this country.” “Having that is a small price to pay in Zimbabwe,” he said
The rationale behind the Deputy Premier’s conclusion that the accident could have been averted by him being personally issued with a high clearance vehicle to visit Chipinge the previous week is intriguing for any sober mind.
Even the assertion that the fatality could have been averted if the PM was allowed usage of two and not just one high clearance vehicle is equally irrational.
From the evidence so far disclosed it would appear that the fatality was caused because the PM’s high clearance vehicle side swiped with a heavier truck that encroached into the lane it was travelling in and rolled over three times.
This would have been the result if the PM was travelling in a two or more high clearance motorcade. The vehicle he would have been in would most obviously be the one where his wife would be. Alternatively if they had by some premonition decided to use the separate vehicles the one that swiped with the truck would have suffered the same fate except that maybe the other would have escaped unhurt.
That is only if we rule out that the vehicles could have been travelling in close proximity and swiped one after the other.
Clearly there was something that caused only Susan to die from an accident where three occupants survived. Could it be that her seat belts were not buckled up at the point of impact?
There is merit in that line of speculation because evidence so far tends to point to the fact that she was the only one thrown out of the vehicle as it rolled over and the other three were pulled out of the wreckage.
The most compelling reason he gave is the absence of a flashing Police Escort. Whether or not that was denied the PM is debatable. If it was the case that the flashing Police escort was denied the PM on request such denial could only have been sanctioned by the President and for now it is difficult to see on what basis he could have done so unless he was part of the accident plot.
Further investigation into this omission would go a long way into dispelling fears that the accident that robbed us of Susan’s life was an assassination attempt on the Premier and his wife.
The rest we believe was bridesmaid Mutambara collecting political nzveura (tithes) from the MDC-T and Zanu PF marriage in the inclusive government in which MDC-M is the sahwira (close friend).
While at it we can understand why the Professor was booed when he tried to address the Susan Tsvangirai mourners at Glamis Stadium.
The MDC has a cultural fibre running through it and its grassroots do not take kindly to those that pretend to be on its side for the convenience of cheap political publicity.
Professor Mutambara has on many occasions shown them the replication of Mugabe and Zanu PF intolerance of their bereaved leader and has derailed many benefits that could have accrued to the nation by leading factionalism in the party.
He could not seriously expect to be welcomed by the followers of the bereaved PM.
After worming himself into government he has been absolutely quiet about coalition strategies and has even intervened to scuttle Abednego Bhebhe’s appointment as a Minister in a gesture of friendship from Tsvangirai.
MDC supporters do not take kindly to politicians who shed crocodile tears when circumstances suit them.
We must investigate USAID because they have said the accident was an accident when in the past they have said other accidents are foul play by Zanu PF- Prof MoyoProfessor Jonathan Moyo wants United States Agency for International Development (USAID) investigated over the car crash that killed the Premier’s wife.
This because another USAID driver, Frank Muchirahondo, was recently charged with attempting to assassinate the Commander of Zimbabwe’s Air Force, Air Marshal Perence Shiri in a gun attack.
The PM’s wife was killed on 6 March 2008 when the Land cruiser she was travelling in swiped with a USAID truck driven by Chinoona Mwanda.
Killer USAID Truck driven by Mwanda
“The fact that the British Foreign Office, followed by the Americans, was quick to issue a statement saying this was a genuine accident invites serious curiosity which can only be removed after an international investigation.
“Nobody should think that all Zimbabweans are foolish to think that a genuine accident is one that does not implicate Zanu PF. Indeed, it would utterly be ludicrous for anyone to believe that car accidents in Zimbabwe are genuine only if or when they involve USAID vehicles or drivers with British interests.
“Given the physical facts surrounding it, suspects in this tragic accident can only be those who have vigorously opposed the unity of Zimbabweans and who have responded to the formation of an inclusive government by extending their evil sanctions,” concluded Prof Moyo.
This is yet another case of a political bridesmaid in the woods trying to exploit political nzveura (tithes) from the coalition government over the Premiers tragedy which is an emotional national tragedy.
An accident investigation must of necessity start with the roadworthiness of the vehicles and drivers involved.
Next the road conditions and the environmental factors must be examined to see if they had any part in causing the mishap.
After eliminating these and finding no clues it may then be necessary to explore macro factors that could have caused the accident and in this case the volatile political environment must be thoroughly examined and exonerated of any part in the accident.
The motive to eliminate the Premier has been ever present in the deposed Junta yet Prof Moyo wants to sell the ruse that the owners of an aid truck in far away USA have a more compelling motive than the deposed Junta.
This is absurd.
How can a vehicle owner be investigated ahead of the driver of a killer vehicle. Should the MDC be investigated for availing the land cruiser to the PM then?
Dr Gideon Gono has been at the centre of discord in the coalition government. His contract was unilaterally extended by President Mugabe after he had agreed to leave the ministry of finance to the management of an MDC Minister in the coalition Government.
The irony of it is that Dr Gono and the President’s wife share the same rural origins with the Premier.
There has been no love lost between the homeboys and girls trying to outsmart each other politically and the PM’s family has been harassed by agents of his home mates in Zanu PF.
Dr Gono and Grace Mugabe cannot be easily exonerated from such harassment.
Now that the PM’s wife has been tragically killed they are at the forefront of posting condolences. The PM’s real friends are confused by all this hypocrisy.
It was not surprising that the Reserve Bank governor was forced to beat a hasty retreat when he attempted to curry favours with the Premier by presenting himself as a funeral wake vigilante at the Premier’s wife funeral vigil.
The worthless paper money he has spent the past four years printing day and night became the best weapon to pelt him with to force him back to the now defunct printing press.
He deserved that. It is similar to the insult nzveura collectors are subjected to by the bereaved in my village.
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